Holding on....

Hey guys,

Well things have changed yet again and this time they are not good I miss Jon like crazy but, like Tami pointed out if he wanted me than he would be with me and not her so ya that is true it hurt hearing that and that was a big eye opener to me. I found alot alot of shit that I didn't even know it was true and it hurts alot to even know it. Such as he is the one that told her he loved her when he was still with me and here I thought it was the other way around this whole time thanks to Jon. He is the one that told everybody besides me that things were not going good and he really should have came to me instead of everyone else.

Our house is getting there but who knows if we will be able to move in or not by Christmas that was out goal. It has already been broken into and things have been stolen so that isn't good. We now have a door on the house that locks and Jon and mom and Clarence will be the only ones with the key so we will hopefully not be broken into again.

Alexis is doing good I don't have her a whole lot bc I have been quite sick lately and I am not sure why but my back hurts, my stomache, my head, I feel dizzy all the time and I just don't feel good at all. She isn't walking yet but she is still cruising and crawling lots so that is good. I can't wait to see her this Christmas which is just around the corner. I am letting her open all her presents by herself. Christmas is supposed to be a happy time but I don't think it will be happy for me I have a feeling it will be a lonely one because for 7 Christmas's I had someone to share it with and well this year I have my daughter but not her father and I would just like to spend Christmas with the 3 of us somewhere that would mean a whole lot to me. It isn't going to happen so I need to give up hope and do the best I can.

Well that is all for now I have a Dr. Appt today if I can find a drive and if not I will cancel it untill I can make it out there to Sussex. I have a hard time finding a drive when I need to be in Sussex because I live way out in the sticks lol. That is all for now I will update when I can.

G2G Bye!