Crazy...

Hey guys,

Well things have been so crazy and so hard to believe lately that all I can say it is still crazy lol. Alot has happened since my last post and I just wanted you all to know what exactly has been going on.

I went to PEI(Prince Edward Island) for the weekend and had such a fun time and got to see lots of ppl, the drive was boring but Jon texted me alot so that helped the time pass for sure and also I enjoyed talking to him and was happy that he actually wanted to talk to me it totally surprised me. I came back on Sunday well it was night time when I actually got back to Sussex so I was texting Jon and he told me to let him know when I was closer because he wanted me to spend the night at his parents' house so I did because he said he wanted to talk to me and well we had a good talk and it was nice to figure things out.

Anyway everything was good and we were enjoying ourselves and actually trying to figure out what went wrong and now that I know that and now that I have my closure I can move on.....he told me that 7 years is a long time to be with someone and he wasn't sure if that is what he wanted, so therefore he just needed a break and well I am understanding that part and ok about that. What I am not ok about it the way he
did things and went about them and he knows they were wrong they way he did it so that helps.

Anyway for now him and Tami are working out their problems I really feel jealous of her and I really envy her she has what I used to have,and what I want and not just Jon but I just want my family back together and my baby and me to be happy again. I don't maybe I am asking for too much I am really confused right now, but I do know that it hurts when I have Alexis and all she does is cry for me and that hurts ALOT that I feel like my baby doesn't love me I know I shouldn't feel that way but I do why I don't know I can't explain it.

I can't explain alot of things I just don't feel like myself it is a really horriable feeling.....like I am empty I feel no pain because I have been to much but yet I don't feel good physically, emotionally and mentally it is hard to explain but I just want it to all go away and that is why things have been crazy. It has been a good crazy and bad crazy all at once and I really just want to be happy again someday...

Anyway that is my update for now I took many attempts to type this and I have now completed it so I am happy about that. I am sorry it is messed up guys but right now my head is messed up lol.

G2G Bye!