Closure...

Hey guys,

So you are probably thinking whats up with the title and no worries I am going to tell you. This is something I should have done a while ago and why I didn't I don't know actually.

Anyway as you all know I went out with Jamie and well things were great untill one day he eneded it no explanation no nothing I was like ok that is strange and yes I will admit it hurt me bc I was just through a really bad breakup and didn't want to go through it again which is exactly what happened but let me explain why it hurt so much...

For starters he filled my head with lies Jamie is what you would classify as a player no other words for it really and I am not trying to be mean. For someone to play head games with you, fill your head with dreams and then crush them to me that is just wrong. I tried my best at being a good gf if he wanted or needed money he got it even though we lived 1 hr away from each other I saw him whenever I could and he came over to my place most weekends it was nice having a guy around again. Anyway he ends up telling me that it wasn't me I was good to him he just wasn't ready for a relationship and yada yada yada. He tells my friend that I wasn't smart enough for him, and that he wasn't happy. What I don't get it why he couldn't have just been honest with me I am a big girl I can handle the truth and if I can't than I have problems. Anyway I just got thinking about that tonight and this is what I have come to realize if a guy doesn't like me for me well than that is their lost I am a good person would do anything for anyone, I am kind, caring and sweet. I have a heart of gold and nerves of steel I would have to after everything I have been through I put up with way to much shit and ppl take advantage of me and that isn't what I am looking for. I am not looking for to be a quick fix for someone like I was for Jamie and he knew that from the start I was honest with him bc honesty is the best and I just don't get it maybe I try to hard sometimes but I seriously don't mean anything by it and I don't even realize I am doing it untill it is too late. I am not a doormat and don't want to be treated like one.

Well that is all I am going to say on that topic it is done and over with and between him and Jonathon they have both taught me so much in the past few months and as I say you live and you learn and that is exactly what I have been doing. I have learned so much and continue to learn new things everyday which is great bc when it comes to Alexis dating I will be an expert on guys so she doesn't make the same stupid mistakes as me bc I wouldn't want her to go through the heatache that I went through I don't wish that upon anyone. Anyway that is all I am going to type it is late now and I have to get some sleep. I will write again when I can.

G2G Bye!