Almost back to normal...

Hey guys,

Well I have been doing good and will hopefully continue to do good. I have been happy and I had a really good busy weekend. John, Nick, Daniel, William, Rob, Scott, Mom, Clarence and I have all been working on our new house so now I say it is the house that love built so that is pretty cool. We want to be moved in by Christmas but we are not really sure if that is going to happen now or not, but time will tell I guess.

Wow I have had some time to do some thinking and I talked alot the other night when John and I went to town for a bit it was good I still havn't got that closure yet but I am now understanding alot more and still trying to figure things out and will continue to do so. I was honest with him and told him that I am not going to sit there and tell him that I don't want him back because that means I would be lying to him because I think everyone who knows me knows I just want what we used to have back sorry to say but I do. I finally got the guts and asked him a personal question about me I asked him since I was his 1st and he has slept with someone else now was I bad at sex and he said no I was good so that made me feel better about myself. I still like the fact that I have only slept with one guy I am not sure I just don't see myself having random sex with just anybody that would be kind of odd that is for sure. I texted John last night and said if him and Tami don't work out would he ever give me another chance and if it don't work then it don't work but hey it was at least another chance. He said he needed time so I told him I wanted to know soon because if he says yes then I will wait for him. I know you are probably thinking I am crazy and well maybe I am I don't know but I still love John and care about him alot. When working with him it takes all I got to not go up and just hug him as much as I want and miss his hugs I would never do that to him. I have realized that I havn't had any money lately but yet he got paid and bought me supper so that was nice of him and then he dropped me back off and helped Clarence bring in some wood we just got thankgod we needed wood! He left after that and that is when I texted him was on his way home. At the end of the night I said I was sorry for everything and he told me not to worry about it. So as I was saying I now know he is not using me for money so that is a good thing.

Alexis is almost walking it is crazy Diane(John's mom) brought her to the new house yesterday and there was our 1 year old standing all by herself I was like wow daddy(John) look at her! He was like walk to daddy and although she didn't it was still cute and she can actually stand for a few minutes all by herself as long as she isn't paying attention to what she is doing than she is fine. She is looking more and more like John everyday it is so hard to believe that she hasn't really changed her looks much just got bigger and her hair has gotton longer and she has gotton taller as well but other than that she still looks the same basically.

Jessica and Art are doing amazinly good and Jess is excited and scared at the same time to maybe become a step mother to Maddy and Tyra that is so excting and I am so beyond happy for her. I can understand where she is coming from being scared and all but I see her with Alexis and I know she will make an awesome mother someday. The 1st time she held Maddy was last weekend and she went right to sleep on her not alot of babies will do that unless they are comfy so that must tell you something Jess she is comfortable with you and you do wonderful with her.

Mom and Clarence are doing good they don't have alot of time to themselves but I think they are going to PEI next month for a weekend so that will be good for them. I love Clarence as a stepfather he is wonderful and amazing and so good to Amanda and I so that helps alot.

Amanda is my younger sister and I find it bad that she is 20 and I am 22 and I have only slept with one guy and she is now on her 3rd I think that is just bad well for me I mean not for her I am happy for Amanda and I hope her and Joss work out. Amanda and I get along pretty good maybe because she is never home I am not so sure but we talk and when I have gas money she will come get me but that doesn't happen very often lol.

Anyway I think that is everybody so I will update later and for now I have a room to clean ugggg!! Sorry but I despise cleaning my room always have always will lol.

G2G Bye!