Just thinking...

Hey guys,

Well I know it has been awhile since I last posted so I thought I would let you all know how I am doing. I must say that things were getting better but are back to the way they were and seem to be getting worst as the days go on.

Anyway I think I have realized that John only wants something to do with me when I have money so I am putting a stop to that I must say. It is going to make me feel bad but I can't sleep hurting myself like that I really can't.

Well as I was saying John and Tami are back together yet again I just don't understand how she seems to get that lucky god John didn't want to make things work for us but yet he wants to make it work for them and he believes her and then takes her back. I am so beyond confused about this one I just don't understand I really don't. All I am going to say is that Tami is soooooo lucky to have a great guy!!!!!

Anyway Alexis is doing great and someday I will be doing good too I hope that day comes real soon. What I need from John is closure if that is what you call it. I need to know what I did so wrong and so bad that it couldn't be fixed or even talked about that is what I need to know. I want to know this and for him to tell me because I need to move on but I am scared to because I don't want to screw up again like I did this time. Once I get this from him I know it will hurt but it will be good for me to know the truth and well the truth hurts and then I can finally heal from all the heartache and pain I have been feeling all this time.

That is all for now I should go and try to get a fire going. I am soooo cold and I hate the thought of winter this year lol. I am not sure what my plans are for the weekend but if you don't hear from me on the weekend then Monday I will update if I can.

G2G Bye!