Hey guys,
Well I have had alot of time to think about everything and when I say everything and I also had alot of support from so many ppl so I thankyou for all of that.
Yesterday I was having a bad day and then it was fine when I was out and then I come back and shit hits the fan and I couldn't take it I really couldn't so it just got worse and no better...
I almost gave up my rights as a mother and was just going to let her father and his gf raise her, but then with alot of ppl words and my thinking because that is all I have been doing lately is thinking. It took everything I had to not buy a plane ticket and be out of this place but then I thought and memories played back in my head over and over and
some were good especially the day Alexis was born and some were bad when he was abusive but I really can't say anything because I would fight right back at him so I know this makes me no better than he was.
I love my daughter Alexis I really do and I don't want to hurt her anymore it is not fair to Alexis and if I walked out of her life that would hurt her the most and I don't want to do that!! Alexis is mine and John's daughter and that is the way it is going to stay nothing or no one will EVER change that not in a million years!!!!!!!
I had a good night and I hope tomorrow is a good day as well and it was Alexis' first time seeing the hot air balloons and she loved them and she even had her picture taken with Miss NewBrunswick so I thought that was a pretty cool experience for an almost 11 month old.
Anyway it is so bedtime I am super tired so night everyone.
G2G Bye!
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2 comments:
Oh beb, Never give IT Alexis, they don't deserve her and its about time you finally started listening to those around you!
Always here never hestate to call.
You know I am here whenever you need to chat Bek. I am sorry for yelling at you yesterday but you just didn't understand what I was saying and now I see that you do.
Thats great that she had an awesome time at the Balloon Fiesta! I hope to see that picture of her. :) Love you Bek, and you know you can talk to me whenever even if I sound mean, I still care about you. You are an amazing girl, and a great friend!
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